#3 - kemkokurikulum READ AND WEEP!

Woot Woot!

Hello!!

Okay first of all. i have good news and bad news. so choose which you want. good or bad?

which? don't know??

useless la you people. bad first.

Bad news : SPERM BOY IS BEING CHANGED TO GAMETE BOY. happy? no? damn it. thought so too. hahahaha. but if you guys think Sperm Boy should stay, give me one reason he should in the comment section or in facebook. (Steven Razz, add me. =])

Good news : Gamete Boy is still the same asshole so don't worry, the nutsy stories will keep coming. Okay? hahaha.

Now, i just wanna say how surprised at exactly how many of you freaks actually think this blog is funny. You guys remember the O dot o? O.o fulamak. classic emot. yea i was like that la. but it was for a split second only. it wasn't permenantly stuck on my face like that. imagine if i was walking around with that look. O.o.......

Okay so today i'm gonna just release some past stories about Sper.... Gamete Boy. i must get used to calling Gamete Boy and not Sper... it's a tragedy i say. anyway, in 2003, GB was selected to join some kemkokurikulum(tongue twister!!). so apparently he was selected to represent the boy scout in his school. but one slight little problem. GB was never a scout member. never. boys brigade pun no. He was a freaking taekwondo student(it's pronounced as TEH-aKU-WON-DOpe). hello red belt-black tip you know. don't mess with him. some criminals have tasted his moves i say. okay tasted sounds very very very wrong.

Anyway, he was sent off to Pantai Merdeka, Kedah, Malaysia. you guys know where malaysia is right? good. some geography lesson. HAH, see? i can be such a good teacher. and he left with three big humongous bags of clothes, a sleeping bag, and his fat ass. yea he was very very fat in 03. like nutty professor just hitting puberty. oh crap did i say puberty?

and for 5 days and 4 nights he struggled. STRUGGLED I SAY!! I FELT HIS PAIN! and therapy never did helped. he was changed man after that. first day, he had to get into a tent with two more dudes. three to a tent. there were 60 tents. and so he went circling for one extra spot for him. none. got also they just said it's booked. assholes. and so he had no choice but to settle into one of the tents. alone. fat. and weird. O.o

First night passed.second day came and thay had to plan for entertainment night. i say, GB being prime minister of Malaysia was the best idea ever. crazy fun. he said he remembered his name was Yang Berbahagia Dato Seri Dr. Selven-keju A/L Nasi Briyani. See? what other country can have better named AND better looking prime minister? none. FUYOH!!

And so he slept through the night. but freaking early in the next morning, the sirens went off. GB just rolled and rolled around in his tent. it was raining outside. and when he finally woke up, he realized his entire tent was wet, his bags were wet, his sleeping bag was wet, his clothes were wet, his towel was wet, he was wet. okay crap. wet from the rain, not wet himself from the dreams of... never mind. And so he picked up his wet towel, wet from the rain water, and walked out of his ten. realizing how quiet it was, he encircled the compount of 60 tents. some were crippled, some were in the sea floating, literally, and all of them. were empty. what the fudge?!?!O.o

was he in a dream, he wondered? every single tent was empty. so thinking that he WAS in a dream, GB actually fell onto the drenched grass and just laid there for nearly 15 minutes. but he woke up after that thanks to some stupid red ants. EFF YOU INSECTS!! and so he decided to clean himself up la.

so as he entered the toilet. he finally saw something which made jumped and scream in joy. the feeling of euphoria was so immense that he almost peed in his pants. he. saw. people. bathing. oh shit. he was happy because he saw people, not because they were naked okay. O.o hahaha. i know you're starting to get irritated by the O.o. Nanny nanny poo poo.

Finally the truth came. he realized that it was 6 am. the sirens went off at 2 or 3am. the students were relocated to the chalets. CHALETS!! so that's why there were nobody there. it seems that the storm was mad and it was NOT SAFE to sleep under stars. but did anyone bother to tell GB? did anyone bother to wake GB up? did anyone bother to save GB? No, no and hell no. see how selfish malaysian kids can get? eh, eh. give me back my pencil. sound familiar??

Pity. well what happened next? did he continue to be the lone survivor in the storm through the rest of the nights? did he do any shit fuck stuff which deserves to be honoured for all wackos?? you wonder you say. well wonder on until the next episode of...... GAMETE BOY!!!!

kuchibaba!!

I love you!

Long live Sper... Gamete Boy. Damnit.

With Mucho of love-o from Razz.

=]

The End Of Sperm Boy. =[

WOOT WOOT!

Oka thoday i give you people a little rest from the usual horny crap that you aapparently hate so much. hah!! yea right.

first of all. there's a lot of problems. because of legal shit, Sperm Boy is Gonna be No More.

that's right. Sperm Boy. No More. I'm aabout to burst into some stupid seriously rolling on the floor laughter but i'm serious. *bites fist to stop laughing*
oouch. ok don't ever ado that. it hurts.

So Ladies and gentleman. Please please give me a new and still ridiculously retarded name for our beloved hero, Sperm Boy.

You can send in your suggestions in facebook. Steven Razz. add me. hahaha

i'm serious i need suggestions.

okay?
okay.
okay then.
awkward moment.
okay.

KUCHIBABA!!!
i love you
Razz

#2 - Taman Sukun

Woot Woot!



Welcome back everyone. Second round of pure Crapadonia and Bullshittus Maximus. I'm surprised that you guys are even willing to read em. wait no... i think it's third already. yea it is. no it's not. it's the second. second episode. but wait it's the third post. should i call this one the second or third?? DAMN IT!!! This world is so fudging confusing i tell you! decisions everywhere!!



WARNING : The Following post contains the revelation of illegal activities, sexual acts, and pure stupidity of certain unnamed(or named, who cares) life experiences.



Anyway this following incidents happened a few months ago when Sperm Boy stopped his internship to look for some solid payable job(forgive me A.A.K. but RM500 for three months is nuts). this was also after he received his results and ronda ronda around his taman on the bike like some security guard.(well he did end up being a vigilante, the creep that saves the day)



So it was around mid March, Sperm Boy was on the bike, without license(still without license), without any helmet, without road tax for the motor(still no road tax), and no freaking safety condoms. worst of all, he was travelling without his mask OR costume!!! nyaahh!!! what if someone saw him?



So off he went, riding around his taman. at 30km/h. that's always the best speed to cruise, he said. especially when you're CRUISING FOR THE LADIES(Aerosmith song)!! right at the first turning, two cats, purring at each other, angrily. hot stuff(Grrrr). 'Imagine if it were two girls fighting over some leftover from me.' said Sperm Boy, all excited. Poor thing.



And then, as he passed the two fighting cats, he faced another two creature. this time, they were dogs. stray. dirty, crazy stray. pity them. but this time, they were not angry or fighting or grunting or barking at each other. they were more... intimate(suddenly the sanitory pad advertisement is popping into my head here). yes intimate i say(again the ad). they were embracing, loving, hugging(i think), carressing, licking, drooling. they were fudging in the middle of the road. WOOO!!!!! damn hot la.



now replace the female dog with the bitch. well as in a human bitch. and the brute with a dud. stud. either one. fulamak, i think the Jabatan Islam(Peace be on you) will swoop down on them and arrest them even before foreplay. hahahaahaha... Haram i tell you! HARAM!!



And so, leaving the love to deal with themselves and spawn more strays that will roam and haunt our streets, he rode on for about an hour or so. until at another alley, passing through a majority-malay area, he slowly rode past first window, old lady cooking. second window, empty house. Third window, empty. fourth window, another lady cooking. it's like cook-ville i tell you. fifth wondow, another lady cooking. sixth wondow, naked couple. seventh... what the fudge??

naked????


and so he stopped his motor, turned off his engine, slowly walked his way back to the sixth window. and.... FULAMAK!!! there was this couple, making out... hugging, kissing, and i think the dude was trying to finger the girl. fuiyoh!!!!! and the girl, was in a tudung. but then since Sperm Boy was so scared that he might get caught peeping, he rode home. smiling. hahahaaha

It was a rather awkward experience to have been able to watch something... something so beautiful turn out to be awfully interesting. hahahahahaha. haih.

Anyway, i have the sextape of the event that's been reenacted using Barbie Dolls and Playdough, so start bidding for them!!

Starting price = RM6.90 (delivery, cover, content, and product not included)

Thank you very much.

*bows*

Love one, Love all. (I seriously don't know hy i said that)

KuchiBaba!

Wolrd Domination shall Begin!

#1 - Funeral of Lady Ova

Woot Woot!

Sperm Boy wakes up oh so sudden in his sleep. realising what was going on, he burst into a huge hissy fit. 'Fudge you stupid owl!!!!'

So since he's already awake, he gave me this interview.

So Sperm Boy one day had a talk with this girl la. Last year. She's from his ex school la. But He wouldn't tell me who was it. Weird dude talking about a weirder girl. and SB(Sperm Boy, lazy to type out the whole name) was on the phone with her la. and thrust me, he is not the phone type. Very rare to find him on the phone. it's like a miracle if he does talk on the phone. Those who have dated SB alter ego will know what the fudge i'm talking about.

So anyway, he was on the phone and they were talking about how to conceive kids in the weirdest ways. like storks delivering kids, couples holding hands and lying down in the same bed can dapat anak. that sort of shit la. all of a sudden, she started to moan. moan really really loud. O.o....

It was a serious what the fudge moment... imagine, you were talking to someone like your friend, and you guys were conversing about little cute babies, walking around in their diapers, and then......

OOOOOHHHHH!!!
AAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHH!!!!!!!!
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH BAAAABBBBYYY!!!!
OHHHH MYYY AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHH!!!!!!!!
YYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!

... The world, i believe, would stop for a moment so that you will take your time to process what's going on. Tut Tut Tut... after some rather tought algorythmic calculations and formulas(courtesy of En. Sivarao, my former Add Maths Teacher), your brain snaps into the stupiddest question available(what's left) in your head.... "What's going on there?"

And once you've asked the stupidest, hilarious, most ridiculous question ever invented by mankind(yes yes, thank you thank you), that's when the awkward silence begins. First your mind kicks into another whole bunch automated response action/reaction that makes no sense. here are a few examples:-

1. offer someone ice cream.

2. sing Negaraku(waving the Jalur Gemilang is a plus point)

3. drink thick, hot, black coffee.

4. walk in circles mumbling the lyrics to Viva la Vida - Coldplay.

5. stare into the abyss thinking what you should say now before things jadi lagi teruk.

Well, SB did the most unimaginable thing in his life. He turned off the conversation. (hats off to SB for ruining lives of so many girls)



And so the next day, he went to school to visit the wounded babe. hahhaahaha. babe. so funny. ok fine it was funny when i said it out loud in the middle of a crowded internet cafe.
And they confronted each other. it was somewhat like in an ultimate kungfu battle royale face/off like that. fulamak.... shign shong shang later, they both gave up and sat down.

Dialogue. a very powerful thing in life and also very misleading thing. haizz. So after the ups and downs of what happened the night before. The two split ways and never spoke again. For those of you who did know her, she was fondly known as the one and only.... PPMS(Permanent Pre Menstrual Syndrome), hot Eurasian, Egg-cracking, Lady Ova!!!


Thus, SB and Lady Ova parted ways and never fought together hand in hand. Lady Ova had hung up her costume. those interested in buying up her costume can bid for it in the comments section. =]

Starting Price = RM 49.90
Closing date for biddings = when you bid

Tx & Regards
from Steven Razz
KuchiBaba!!
Thank you Thivya for bringing back the memory of the past.