Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Men-Yeoh-Pause

WOOT WOOT!

Hello everyone! hahaha. yes i know you miss Sperm Boy so much that you jerk off just to see him now and then. now now girls, hold on to your horses that you riding. hope you're not really riding any horses for now. miao.

Okay so you must be wondering who is Men-Yeoh-Pause?

-Men-
-Yeoh-
-Pause-
???

What nonsense is this you may ask but indeed that is the ultimate question that we must ponder on in our heads. What is this nonsense?!

Nothing. Sperm Boy is just telling you who this donkey-ditch is. yes Men-Yeoh-Pause is a donkey-ditch. if you don't understand what the hell a donkey-ditch is, then obviously, you're one too. *winks and hats off*

So, it all began in '09 when Sperm Boy was in form 6. it was the second paper of a particular subject. and then, footsteps. fast. hurried. and very soft footsteps. the sounds trailed along the corridor of our class until it buzzed its way into our class and stopped at the teacher's table. and then, tap tap tap. on the blackboard, it revealed it's identity. it's name bored right through my skull. and now i was looking right at his skull. the loss hair makes it even more obvious. and then he(apparently it's a he) turned around and faced the class. we were ordered to remove our dusty textbooks from our dusty bags that laid untouched in the morning.

"I won tachh the fers chhapteh. i go chhapteh fai." in that thick chinese accent, we flipped through our text book until we reached chhapteh fai(5), Data and Distribution.

And so he started off, shooting shit about how to differentiate grouped and ungrouped data and crap. Sperm Boy wan't listening. Sperm Boy couldn't understand half the things he said. not because of his speed, which was ridiculously fast. Not because of his voice, which was very droopy and hypnotizing. no not at all. but it was his accent. oh my god Sperm Boy wanted to literally pull out his hair(note : this was the period where Sperm Boy had the Jose Rizal-out-of-control hair do) out!

and so the lessons from Men-Yeoh-Pause went on and on and on.

Now one thing you should know is that Sperm Boy does not like racism whatsoever. and Men-Yeoh-Pause, Sperm Boy feels, is one.

So one day, MYP entered the class. took out his sudoku/homework-checklist/book. And then he was reading from it. mumbling to hiself more like. and then he called out, "naahwin. naahwin. weh is yoh're chhapteh egg(8) ho-work? and sum-moh... sevenlasz. sevenlasz? you chhapteh egg?"

Sperm Boy was woken up from his deep sleep after bio class and then he asked his next-door neighbour(the name of this neighbour has been removed to prevent any offence made.. and also becasue i don't like this neighbour. just kidding. hahaa) what happened. after realising his laziness brought him to his doom, Sperm Boy had to step up and deal with the pressing issues of excessive ho-work.

"I forgot. i'll pass to you before chinese new year, sir."

Thus my problem was solved. but noo..... it wasn't apparently. Men-Yeoh-Pause decided that he had enough. "i sullender. i dohn kare."

But, no. Sperm Boy wasn't gonna give up just like. zip. pants down, Sperm Boy tied him down with his ElasticoRope(100% man-made sperm) and then roped him down and started to swing away as fast as he could before MYP got loose and started attacking SB with his weapon, tampons.

and so in the thick of things SB tried to escape but failed. MYP brought him back and then, the ultimate battle between good and evil began...

Dust blew... the round rolling dried weed rolled past... bird shit dropped onto the floor... SB's friend's phone beep, indicating that someone's texting them... beep beep...

BBBOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!! i fucked your boyfriend

everything went silent. chinese new year holiday started so i left school and decided to pass my homework when school started. yes, life's never easy, my friends. Moral of the story?

do your homework!!

oh and please please watch this and comment people!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CuljWmRtYI

I love you

KuchiBaba!

Use condoms, look at all the baby reports!

<3 class="Apple-style-span" color="#FFFFCC">Sperm Boy and Clit Girl

a.k.a. Razz

Monday, January 4, 2010

I Sux.... bad.

Woot Woot

Okay i know that some of you freaks out there are getting pissed at me because i keep coming here to post up lovey dovey shit once a month. i'm sowie... but get a life. it's MA BWOG! yes the w in the BWOG was intended. stupid. And yes even though it's been three months and some of you are already hoping that i was back on the market for all you single ladies(all the single ladies, all the single ladies) but too bad i'm tied down like a fat T-Rex on it's belly. Wolay Kwap! i think i miss Meet The Robinsons. Keep Fudging Forward!

So what i think is, i might have to restart this blog again or else it'll be superdead. haih. but first thing's first, here's the updates!

1. Dhivia and vill planned this whole surprise birthday party for me on the 20th even though it's suppose to be on 17th, but my god that was when i realized that i haven't celebrated my birthday properly in six years!! Sperm Boy was there. hahahahaaha. so i wanna say thanks to Dhivia, Villeena, Sueveena, Daniel, Debbie, Wihandro, Sum and Chantri for coming and making it awesome day for me. =] love you guys*inserts heart here*

2. went to Cameron, Genting and KL with vill's family. so friggin awesome! so much things. let's see, ate super sweet strawberries, saw bloody huge crocodile's tongue(aloe vera = lidah buaya), took loads of pictures, slipped so many times in the toilet thanks to sue, cracked my back while trying to sleep on the couch in the hotel room, learned how a sanitory pad works(yes, i have no idea how it worked before), went to SOULed OUT(awesomest food eva!), watch vill cry as she refused to enter the horror house, filled my belly with loads of unhealthy crap(my anus never looked the same after that), watched dark knight*screams like a bitch*, performed my breakdance slash hip hop slash modern dance twice on the 20th and once on the 31st, started school on a very very dull note, and tada! here i am.

3. While some of you may still think i'm the head prefect and stuff, thanks to my fiasco during the school statement recital(i'm still new to the school!), well i'm not. get your facts right. get your votes right. get your ties up and right socks on. Zul's the head prefect. Yes, Him. =] i wish him good luck. it will be required in the future.

4. I experienced history on December the !19th. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I WATCHED AVATAR!!! WOOO... i wanna learn the Na'vi language, and call myself RazzSully. hahahahaa but seriously, i didn't feel tired at all even thought it was nearly three hours long. Best Movie Ever. But still second to Dark Knight. hahahahaha. but it still makes you feel like an Omaticayan and i think i'll go get my Ikran to form my Tsa'haylu with. hahaha. =p

5. Happy anniversary to Sperm Boy and Clit Girl. =] may the two of you live long! hehehe. and for this special day, i've been asked to write and post this song up for them. god bless you two. ahahaha. people who are interested to make this song a REALITY!, please please tell me as soon as posible! Ladies And Gemtlemen, this is the premiere of Encircled By The Moon.

(this song has been removed under copyright laws. Visit http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250354738476 ) =]