Right

Soooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Today is Sperm/Gamete Boy's birthday (I can never keep up with his ever changing names)

So H-A-P-P-Y- B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y!

I've always made a big thing out of birthdays.. But he doesn't which is really sad..
Its the day a person (along with another million people) is appreciated even more because their loved ones are cherishing the day they were brought into the world..
Things would have been so so different if he wasn't around..
For one thing, it would be a much quieter and less hornier place to live in no?
and hey that isn't particularly a good thing...

Sometimes people don't remember you're alive all year long and suddenly they send you this little msg which makes all the difference coz you may feel more loved..

Then there are the hilarious and the sweet messages you get that brighten ups your whole day..

There are so so many thing to look forward to during your birthday!!

Speaking of birth, it would be awesome if people started producing giant skittles instead of babies in result to unsafe sex no? I think so toooooo.. OMG you've got a purple skittle!
ANYWAY!

Happy Birthday!!!!

xoxoxoxox
Love always,
C.G

He's Back!!

WOOT WOOT!

Hello people!! Oh my god! I think it's been forever since i last posted something. a month ago in exact. hahahahaa. haih. OKAY! news news news. did you know the word news came from new shit? get it?

news = new shit

Anyways we'll go according to the cronology okay?

1) Okay. i've been travelling up and down and down and up between courthouses and stuff and YESH!! Sperm Boy is officially back. F*** you Gamete boy!! so Sperm Boy is back and all you emo freaks that were all sad and shit can get over it and get a life. nyahahahahaha.....

2) i attended the the Penang Bridge International Marathon. whoa.... half marathon is NOT easy. that's gonna be up in the new blog. wee. :D

3) And oh my last job as a telemarketer was kinda sad. because i worked my ass off, got the highest commission in the whole company, and the company decided to hold back my money because i had to resign to start form 6. sigh. that was in April/May. last week, they called me and said they just banked in the money after mucho consideration. FINALLY!!!! *deep breaths*

4) I was appointed as the person in charge for Red Flag White Flag Battlefield Game! hahhaha. it was uber fun on 5th of december. those of you that were there would have loved it. =] everything was perfect on that day except the participants. dumbest bunch of crinkly nutcracks. food was awesome. thank you vill, tara, sue, daniel, debbie, amber, jinn, sylvia and all you other freaks that helped out. =]

5) I went for the Fame up audition. funny shit. Forced to dance. haih. my partner was so so shy... pity her. Thqanks daniel for supporting me. =] and you'll get a role too la. Diamond's are a girl's best friend. i'm surprised that it doesn't apply to all girls. Vladislav, i shall conquer you!!! i hope. Awesome job, Scott.

6) Starwalk was nice. =] hehehe the lucky draw was depressing. knowing that your number is two to three digits away from winning something awesome. haih. wasn't tired at all surprisingly. wee....

7) December 16th marks 2 months since the two writers have hooked up. fulamak.... bet she enjoyed cambodia. no, cambodia is not some dirty talk, it's a place she visited. oh my god that sounds wrong too. hahahahha and it's also Jane austen's birthday. writer of pride and prejudice and many more books which dhiv adores. Sperm Boy adores C.G. hahahahaa

8) ah... Happy birthday Sonia Symone, John Abraham, Milla Jovovich and Jaimee Foxworth!!!! December 17th is an awesome day you know? Simpsons Debut it's first episode on this day. hahaha

I love you.

KuchiBaba.

Booyashaka.

Forkadoodle.

Die Gamete boy die.

I miss you aqie... we need to change the song. hahaha

Razz a.k.a. Sperm Boy

31 Days =]

Woot Woot!

Hello, Cock-o-bots and Vagina-trons. Hahhahahaha. haih. okay todays special. 31 days. what izzit you wonder? he. well the writers of this blog, me and someone else, having been getting down and dirty. HAHAHAHAH okay i did not mean that a bit at all, Keshav. seriously. Anyway, today's blog is dedicated to her, so if you don't like it, f*** you. oh shit wait no not to the other writer but to the OTHER freaks reading this. hehehe.

Firstly, i think it's been an awesome 31 days. =] Here's 31 reasons. She :-

1. is sweet

2. is funny

3. is awesome

4. is freaky

5. is loving

6. is always there

7. has neon nails

8. is very in love with lemon(the flying spider)

9. has great lips... Miao

10. calls me S.W.

11. thinks that sticking to my true self(name) is the best

12. supports me for whatever decisions i take up

13. is crazy

14. did not drink Milo on the day to meet me, to avoid poisoning me

15. dreams of having her own radio station(Goo.fm)

16. has great taste in music

17. has little little crinkles on her nose when she smiles =]

18. is so nice to cuddle with

19. listens to my problems at times

20. is a great person to get advice from

21. is immune to the smell of nail polish(how awesome is that??)

22. looks really really beautiful without make up. no joke

23. is imperfectly perfect

24. makes me wonder if I really deserve someone as perfect as her

25. makes me grin like mad EVERYTIME I see her name appear on the phone

26. can make feel very very very guilty for my mistakes against her

27. idolizes Audrey Hepburn

28. is nuts over Pride and Prejudice

29. likes hot guys but apparently i'm not. eh hem

30. is the one i'm gonna love for a long period of time. very long i say

31. is my girl. =]

All I wanna say now is happy One Month Anniversary. oh yea and so far, only two of you figured out the name. so please keep the name guessing coming. =]

I love you

KuchiBaba

sorry to the readers who expected something else

hahahaahahahahaa

Razz a.k.a. Gamete Boy

Intro

Helllllllooooooooooooo...

Its your trusted C.G here..
I felt like the lack of updated here is kinda sad..
I mean there are actually a few of you sad people who come here everyday thinking Gamete Boy might update... Which he obviously does only ones in a blue moon..

So, being the kind soul that I obviously am, I decided to add a bit of my amazing moolah here..
ANYWAY...!
Welcome earthlings..

So I think you should no a bit more about me..
Firstly..
Gamete Boy and I don't have one of those sickening cliche stories where the first time our eyes met we knew we were meant to fight crime together shit..

We talked.. We found out that we had a common motive..
For world domination.. I was the brains and he was the bronze (ummm well you get the picture)
Its fuzzy because it happened so fast..!
Like Voooossssshhhhhhhhh.
We need a theme song..

We're open for suggestions..

Oh oh.... Sorry.. C.G tends to be a scatter brain..

Second, the name was given by force..
Actually it was from three choices and it sounded the most sassy..
I realize that just from an initial like C and G you people could probably come up with a lot of crap.. I know I can... So please think wisely.. I mean, its me we're talking about..


Third.. I can't remember.
!@#$


Oh Well..

Tune in next me..

xoxoxoxox

C.G

C. G. Who??

Woot Woot!

What the heck is on the up side people!!!! oh yeah, that's actually the longer form of what's up. amazing right? oh. no? oh. okay. how..... unexpected. sigh. so sad.

Anyway, before i delve into the adventures of Gamete Boy. Yes, to the new folks who just realized that it's not Sperm Boy but Gamete Boy, the name of our beloved hero HAS been changed but do not worry. for the sake of our fans(i doubt there's any), we have a new addition. and since Lady Ova has left us in the cold, dark and horny world of crime f****ing, Gamete Boy and I have decided that living alone in this unruly world is very very sad. very sad. trust me. it's sad. like really sad. oh my god this blog is slowly seeping into sadness. boo-hoo. so sad.

SOO!!!! Here's a sneak peek into who's my partner in crime f****ing. =]

Instead of just telling who it is. I wanna play around with you freaks first. Since Gamete Boy is such a horny freak, his partner is a girl. hee. And her superhero name has the initials.................

C. G.

Hahahahah!!! Go figure it out yourself and whoever that guesses it right will win a small token of appreciation. I don't know what is it but well, something la. oh yea, Aqilah aka AqieAmazing and Dhivia aka Dhvia are NOT allowed to take part in this little contest. so tell me freaks, what is my superhero partner's name? not her real name i repeat. her superhero name. good luck with that. weeeee.....

Oh yes, i forgot. as of next week, Gamete Boy officially open up a new blog. WOO-HOO!!!! That's right. to accommodate freaks fans who want to know more about Gamete Boy's crime f****ing activities, the new blog will be more of a second to second drama, thriller, action packed account of Gamete Boy. those who DO approve this idea please say so in the cbox. --->

Okay, some of you are wondering what happened after last weeks' episode of Gamete Boy #3 - kemkokurikulum. well i think i won't say anything today but i promise promise promise i'll put it up asap. not put it into smokes, but as soon as possible for all the freaks who do not seem to understand acronyms. izzit acronyms ah? don't know la.

So for now, i shall fade into the dark night and swerve my through the thick and thin of the horny jungle that binds us to our daily shit lives. =]

I Love you and Luv you all.

KuchiBaba!

err.

I love flowers?

Razz =]

#3 - kemkokurikulum READ AND WEEP!

Woot Woot!

Hello!!

Okay first of all. i have good news and bad news. so choose which you want. good or bad?

which? don't know??

useless la you people. bad first.

Bad news : SPERM BOY IS BEING CHANGED TO GAMETE BOY. happy? no? damn it. thought so too. hahahaha. but if you guys think Sperm Boy should stay, give me one reason he should in the comment section or in facebook. (Steven Razz, add me. =])

Good news : Gamete Boy is still the same asshole so don't worry, the nutsy stories will keep coming. Okay? hahaha.

Now, i just wanna say how surprised at exactly how many of you freaks actually think this blog is funny. You guys remember the O dot o? O.o fulamak. classic emot. yea i was like that la. but it was for a split second only. it wasn't permenantly stuck on my face like that. imagine if i was walking around with that look. O.o.......

Okay so today i'm gonna just release some past stories about Sper.... Gamete Boy. i must get used to calling Gamete Boy and not Sper... it's a tragedy i say. anyway, in 2003, GB was selected to join some kemkokurikulum(tongue twister!!). so apparently he was selected to represent the boy scout in his school. but one slight little problem. GB was never a scout member. never. boys brigade pun no. He was a freaking taekwondo student(it's pronounced as TEH-aKU-WON-DOpe). hello red belt-black tip you know. don't mess with him. some criminals have tasted his moves i say. okay tasted sounds very very very wrong.

Anyway, he was sent off to Pantai Merdeka, Kedah, Malaysia. you guys know where malaysia is right? good. some geography lesson. HAH, see? i can be such a good teacher. and he left with three big humongous bags of clothes, a sleeping bag, and his fat ass. yea he was very very fat in 03. like nutty professor just hitting puberty. oh crap did i say puberty?

and for 5 days and 4 nights he struggled. STRUGGLED I SAY!! I FELT HIS PAIN! and therapy never did helped. he was changed man after that. first day, he had to get into a tent with two more dudes. three to a tent. there were 60 tents. and so he went circling for one extra spot for him. none. got also they just said it's booked. assholes. and so he had no choice but to settle into one of the tents. alone. fat. and weird. O.o

First night passed.second day came and thay had to plan for entertainment night. i say, GB being prime minister of Malaysia was the best idea ever. crazy fun. he said he remembered his name was Yang Berbahagia Dato Seri Dr. Selven-keju A/L Nasi Briyani. See? what other country can have better named AND better looking prime minister? none. FUYOH!!

And so he slept through the night. but freaking early in the next morning, the sirens went off. GB just rolled and rolled around in his tent. it was raining outside. and when he finally woke up, he realized his entire tent was wet, his bags were wet, his sleeping bag was wet, his clothes were wet, his towel was wet, he was wet. okay crap. wet from the rain, not wet himself from the dreams of... never mind. And so he picked up his wet towel, wet from the rain water, and walked out of his ten. realizing how quiet it was, he encircled the compount of 60 tents. some were crippled, some were in the sea floating, literally, and all of them. were empty. what the fudge?!?!O.o

was he in a dream, he wondered? every single tent was empty. so thinking that he WAS in a dream, GB actually fell onto the drenched grass and just laid there for nearly 15 minutes. but he woke up after that thanks to some stupid red ants. EFF YOU INSECTS!! and so he decided to clean himself up la.

so as he entered the toilet. he finally saw something which made jumped and scream in joy. the feeling of euphoria was so immense that he almost peed in his pants. he. saw. people. bathing. oh shit. he was happy because he saw people, not because they were naked okay. O.o hahaha. i know you're starting to get irritated by the O.o. Nanny nanny poo poo.

Finally the truth came. he realized that it was 6 am. the sirens went off at 2 or 3am. the students were relocated to the chalets. CHALETS!! so that's why there were nobody there. it seems that the storm was mad and it was NOT SAFE to sleep under stars. but did anyone bother to tell GB? did anyone bother to wake GB up? did anyone bother to save GB? No, no and hell no. see how selfish malaysian kids can get? eh, eh. give me back my pencil. sound familiar??

Pity. well what happened next? did he continue to be the lone survivor in the storm through the rest of the nights? did he do any shit fuck stuff which deserves to be honoured for all wackos?? you wonder you say. well wonder on until the next episode of...... GAMETE BOY!!!!

kuchibaba!!

I love you!

Long live Sper... Gamete Boy. Damnit.

With Mucho of love-o from Razz.

=]

The End Of Sperm Boy. =[

WOOT WOOT!

Oka thoday i give you people a little rest from the usual horny crap that you aapparently hate so much. hah!! yea right.

first of all. there's a lot of problems. because of legal shit, Sperm Boy is Gonna be No More.

that's right. Sperm Boy. No More. I'm aabout to burst into some stupid seriously rolling on the floor laughter but i'm serious. *bites fist to stop laughing*
oouch. ok don't ever ado that. it hurts.

So Ladies and gentleman. Please please give me a new and still ridiculously retarded name for our beloved hero, Sperm Boy.

You can send in your suggestions in facebook. Steven Razz. add me. hahaha

i'm serious i need suggestions.

okay?
okay.
okay then.
awkward moment.
okay.

KUCHIBABA!!!
i love you
Razz

#2 - Taman Sukun

Woot Woot!



Welcome back everyone. Second round of pure Crapadonia and Bullshittus Maximus. I'm surprised that you guys are even willing to read em. wait no... i think it's third already. yea it is. no it's not. it's the second. second episode. but wait it's the third post. should i call this one the second or third?? DAMN IT!!! This world is so fudging confusing i tell you! decisions everywhere!!



WARNING : The Following post contains the revelation of illegal activities, sexual acts, and pure stupidity of certain unnamed(or named, who cares) life experiences.



Anyway this following incidents happened a few months ago when Sperm Boy stopped his internship to look for some solid payable job(forgive me A.A.K. but RM500 for three months is nuts). this was also after he received his results and ronda ronda around his taman on the bike like some security guard.(well he did end up being a vigilante, the creep that saves the day)



So it was around mid March, Sperm Boy was on the bike, without license(still without license), without any helmet, without road tax for the motor(still no road tax), and no freaking safety condoms. worst of all, he was travelling without his mask OR costume!!! nyaahh!!! what if someone saw him?



So off he went, riding around his taman. at 30km/h. that's always the best speed to cruise, he said. especially when you're CRUISING FOR THE LADIES(Aerosmith song)!! right at the first turning, two cats, purring at each other, angrily. hot stuff(Grrrr). 'Imagine if it were two girls fighting over some leftover from me.' said Sperm Boy, all excited. Poor thing.



And then, as he passed the two fighting cats, he faced another two creature. this time, they were dogs. stray. dirty, crazy stray. pity them. but this time, they were not angry or fighting or grunting or barking at each other. they were more... intimate(suddenly the sanitory pad advertisement is popping into my head here). yes intimate i say(again the ad). they were embracing, loving, hugging(i think), carressing, licking, drooling. they were fudging in the middle of the road. WOOO!!!!! damn hot la.



now replace the female dog with the bitch. well as in a human bitch. and the brute with a dud. stud. either one. fulamak, i think the Jabatan Islam(Peace be on you) will swoop down on them and arrest them even before foreplay. hahahaahaha... Haram i tell you! HARAM!!



And so, leaving the love to deal with themselves and spawn more strays that will roam and haunt our streets, he rode on for about an hour or so. until at another alley, passing through a majority-malay area, he slowly rode past first window, old lady cooking. second window, empty house. Third window, empty. fourth window, another lady cooking. it's like cook-ville i tell you. fifth wondow, another lady cooking. sixth wondow, naked couple. seventh... what the fudge??

naked????


and so he stopped his motor, turned off his engine, slowly walked his way back to the sixth window. and.... FULAMAK!!! there was this couple, making out... hugging, kissing, and i think the dude was trying to finger the girl. fuiyoh!!!!! and the girl, was in a tudung. but then since Sperm Boy was so scared that he might get caught peeping, he rode home. smiling. hahahaaha

It was a rather awkward experience to have been able to watch something... something so beautiful turn out to be awfully interesting. hahahahahaha. haih.

Anyway, i have the sextape of the event that's been reenacted using Barbie Dolls and Playdough, so start bidding for them!!

Starting price = RM6.90 (delivery, cover, content, and product not included)

Thank you very much.

*bows*

Love one, Love all. (I seriously don't know hy i said that)

KuchiBaba!

Wolrd Domination shall Begin!

#1 - Funeral of Lady Ova

Woot Woot!

Sperm Boy wakes up oh so sudden in his sleep. realising what was going on, he burst into a huge hissy fit. 'Fudge you stupid owl!!!!'

So since he's already awake, he gave me this interview.

So Sperm Boy one day had a talk with this girl la. Last year. She's from his ex school la. But He wouldn't tell me who was it. Weird dude talking about a weirder girl. and SB(Sperm Boy, lazy to type out the whole name) was on the phone with her la. and thrust me, he is not the phone type. Very rare to find him on the phone. it's like a miracle if he does talk on the phone. Those who have dated SB alter ego will know what the fudge i'm talking about.

So anyway, he was on the phone and they were talking about how to conceive kids in the weirdest ways. like storks delivering kids, couples holding hands and lying down in the same bed can dapat anak. that sort of shit la. all of a sudden, she started to moan. moan really really loud. O.o....

It was a serious what the fudge moment... imagine, you were talking to someone like your friend, and you guys were conversing about little cute babies, walking around in their diapers, and then......

OOOOOHHHHH!!!
AAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHH!!!!!!!!
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH BAAAABBBBYYY!!!!
OHHHH MYYY AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHH!!!!!!!!
YYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!

... The world, i believe, would stop for a moment so that you will take your time to process what's going on. Tut Tut Tut... after some rather tought algorythmic calculations and formulas(courtesy of En. Sivarao, my former Add Maths Teacher), your brain snaps into the stupiddest question available(what's left) in your head.... "What's going on there?"

And once you've asked the stupidest, hilarious, most ridiculous question ever invented by mankind(yes yes, thank you thank you), that's when the awkward silence begins. First your mind kicks into another whole bunch automated response action/reaction that makes no sense. here are a few examples:-

1. offer someone ice cream.

2. sing Negaraku(waving the Jalur Gemilang is a plus point)

3. drink thick, hot, black coffee.

4. walk in circles mumbling the lyrics to Viva la Vida - Coldplay.

5. stare into the abyss thinking what you should say now before things jadi lagi teruk.

Well, SB did the most unimaginable thing in his life. He turned off the conversation. (hats off to SB for ruining lives of so many girls)



And so the next day, he went to school to visit the wounded babe. hahhaahaha. babe. so funny. ok fine it was funny when i said it out loud in the middle of a crowded internet cafe.
And they confronted each other. it was somewhat like in an ultimate kungfu battle royale face/off like that. fulamak.... shign shong shang later, they both gave up and sat down.

Dialogue. a very powerful thing in life and also very misleading thing. haizz. So after the ups and downs of what happened the night before. The two split ways and never spoke again. For those of you who did know her, she was fondly known as the one and only.... PPMS(Permanent Pre Menstrual Syndrome), hot Eurasian, Egg-cracking, Lady Ova!!!


Thus, SB and Lady Ova parted ways and never fought together hand in hand. Lady Ova had hung up her costume. those interested in buying up her costume can bid for it in the comments section. =]

Starting Price = RM 49.90
Closing date for biddings = when you bid

Tx & Regards
from Steven Razz
KuchiBaba!!
Thank you Thivya for bringing back the memory of the past.

KuchiBaba : Rise Of The Sperm

Woot Woot!

What is the up?
Okay okay, for those who might have known about it very well, Sperm Boy is actually a pretty busy dude. His alter ego is a student in a pretty weird yet stable school. Some know it...

BLACK MONKEY'S HOLY SHITAY-TUA!!

You pronounce the shitay-tua in like a french accent. shitay-tua. Hahaha. awesome word there. Now this bloggyfied piece of shitay-tua is dedicated to the ups and downs of Sperm Boy. He's hoping that his vigilante life will be turned into a comic book or a movie. at least a cartoon series la. Bad idea though. imagine kids running around in sperm suits shooting white strands from their.... well you know!!! it was built into the suit for the kids to have fun. =]

Thus... Before Sperm Boy shoots off to save and wet our pityful yet horny world. let us have a moment of silence for Lady Ova who was killed in action while battling the evil, chinese speaking restaurant owner, Men-Yo-Pause.

We Love You LADY OVA!!

Peace From:
Steven Razz a.k.a. Sperm Boy