Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Men-Yeoh-Pause

WOOT WOOT!

Hello everyone! hahaha. yes i know you miss Sperm Boy so much that you jerk off just to see him now and then. now now girls, hold on to your horses that you riding. hope you're not really riding any horses for now. miao.

Okay so you must be wondering who is Men-Yeoh-Pause?

-Men-
-Yeoh-
-Pause-
???

What nonsense is this you may ask but indeed that is the ultimate question that we must ponder on in our heads. What is this nonsense?!

Nothing. Sperm Boy is just telling you who this donkey-ditch is. yes Men-Yeoh-Pause is a donkey-ditch. if you don't understand what the hell a donkey-ditch is, then obviously, you're one too. *winks and hats off*

So, it all began in '09 when Sperm Boy was in form 6. it was the second paper of a particular subject. and then, footsteps. fast. hurried. and very soft footsteps. the sounds trailed along the corridor of our class until it buzzed its way into our class and stopped at the teacher's table. and then, tap tap tap. on the blackboard, it revealed it's identity. it's name bored right through my skull. and now i was looking right at his skull. the loss hair makes it even more obvious. and then he(apparently it's a he) turned around and faced the class. we were ordered to remove our dusty textbooks from our dusty bags that laid untouched in the morning.

"I won tachh the fers chhapteh. i go chhapteh fai." in that thick chinese accent, we flipped through our text book until we reached chhapteh fai(5), Data and Distribution.

And so he started off, shooting shit about how to differentiate grouped and ungrouped data and crap. Sperm Boy wan't listening. Sperm Boy couldn't understand half the things he said. not because of his speed, which was ridiculously fast. Not because of his voice, which was very droopy and hypnotizing. no not at all. but it was his accent. oh my god Sperm Boy wanted to literally pull out his hair(note : this was the period where Sperm Boy had the Jose Rizal-out-of-control hair do) out!

and so the lessons from Men-Yeoh-Pause went on and on and on.

Now one thing you should know is that Sperm Boy does not like racism whatsoever. and Men-Yeoh-Pause, Sperm Boy feels, is one.

So one day, MYP entered the class. took out his sudoku/homework-checklist/book. And then he was reading from it. mumbling to hiself more like. and then he called out, "naahwin. naahwin. weh is yoh're chhapteh egg(8) ho-work? and sum-moh... sevenlasz. sevenlasz? you chhapteh egg?"

Sperm Boy was woken up from his deep sleep after bio class and then he asked his next-door neighbour(the name of this neighbour has been removed to prevent any offence made.. and also becasue i don't like this neighbour. just kidding. hahaa) what happened. after realising his laziness brought him to his doom, Sperm Boy had to step up and deal with the pressing issues of excessive ho-work.

"I forgot. i'll pass to you before chinese new year, sir."

Thus my problem was solved. but noo..... it wasn't apparently. Men-Yeoh-Pause decided that he had enough. "i sullender. i dohn kare."

But, no. Sperm Boy wasn't gonna give up just like. zip. pants down, Sperm Boy tied him down with his ElasticoRope(100% man-made sperm) and then roped him down and started to swing away as fast as he could before MYP got loose and started attacking SB with his weapon, tampons.

and so in the thick of things SB tried to escape but failed. MYP brought him back and then, the ultimate battle between good and evil began...

Dust blew... the round rolling dried weed rolled past... bird shit dropped onto the floor... SB's friend's phone beep, indicating that someone's texting them... beep beep...

BBBOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!! i fucked your boyfriend

everything went silent. chinese new year holiday started so i left school and decided to pass my homework when school started. yes, life's never easy, my friends. Moral of the story?

do your homework!!

oh and please please watch this and comment people!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CuljWmRtYI

I love you

KuchiBaba!

Use condoms, look at all the baby reports!

<3 class="Apple-style-span" color="#FFFFCC">Sperm Boy and Clit Girl

a.k.a. Razz

Monday, January 4, 2010

I Sux.... bad.

Woot Woot

Okay i know that some of you freaks out there are getting pissed at me because i keep coming here to post up lovey dovey shit once a month. i'm sowie... but get a life. it's MA BWOG! yes the w in the BWOG was intended. stupid. And yes even though it's been three months and some of you are already hoping that i was back on the market for all you single ladies(all the single ladies, all the single ladies) but too bad i'm tied down like a fat T-Rex on it's belly. Wolay Kwap! i think i miss Meet The Robinsons. Keep Fudging Forward!

So what i think is, i might have to restart this blog again or else it'll be superdead. haih. but first thing's first, here's the updates!

1. Dhivia and vill planned this whole surprise birthday party for me on the 20th even though it's suppose to be on 17th, but my god that was when i realized that i haven't celebrated my birthday properly in six years!! Sperm Boy was there. hahahahaaha. so i wanna say thanks to Dhivia, Villeena, Sueveena, Daniel, Debbie, Wihandro, Sum and Chantri for coming and making it awesome day for me. =] love you guys*inserts heart here*

2. went to Cameron, Genting and KL with vill's family. so friggin awesome! so much things. let's see, ate super sweet strawberries, saw bloody huge crocodile's tongue(aloe vera = lidah buaya), took loads of pictures, slipped so many times in the toilet thanks to sue, cracked my back while trying to sleep on the couch in the hotel room, learned how a sanitory pad works(yes, i have no idea how it worked before), went to SOULed OUT(awesomest food eva!), watch vill cry as she refused to enter the horror house, filled my belly with loads of unhealthy crap(my anus never looked the same after that), watched dark knight*screams like a bitch*, performed my breakdance slash hip hop slash modern dance twice on the 20th and once on the 31st, started school on a very very dull note, and tada! here i am.

3. While some of you may still think i'm the head prefect and stuff, thanks to my fiasco during the school statement recital(i'm still new to the school!), well i'm not. get your facts right. get your votes right. get your ties up and right socks on. Zul's the head prefect. Yes, Him. =] i wish him good luck. it will be required in the future.

4. I experienced history on December the !19th. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I WATCHED AVATAR!!! WOOO... i wanna learn the Na'vi language, and call myself RazzSully. hahahahaa but seriously, i didn't feel tired at all even thought it was nearly three hours long. Best Movie Ever. But still second to Dark Knight. hahahahaha. but it still makes you feel like an Omaticayan and i think i'll go get my Ikran to form my Tsa'haylu with. hahaha. =p

5. Happy anniversary to Sperm Boy and Clit Girl. =] may the two of you live long! hehehe. and for this special day, i've been asked to write and post this song up for them. god bless you two. ahahaha. people who are interested to make this song a REALITY!, please please tell me as soon as posible! Ladies And Gemtlemen, this is the premiere of Encircled By The Moon.

(this song has been removed under copyright laws. Visit http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=250354738476 ) =]

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Right

Soooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Today is Sperm/Gamete Boy's birthday (I can never keep up with his ever changing names)
So H-A-P-P-Y- B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y!


I've always made a big thing out of birthdays.. But he doesn't which is really sad..
Its the day a person (along with another million people) is appreciated even more because their loved ones are cherishing the day they were brought into the world..
Things would have been so so different if he wasn't around..
For one thing, it would be a much quieter and less hornier place to live in no?
and hey that isn't particularly a good thing...

Sometimes people don't remember you're alive all year long and suddenly they send you this little msg which makes all the difference coz you may feel more loved..

Then there are the hilarious and the sweet messages you get that brighten ups your whole day..

There are so so many thing to look forward to during your birthday!!

Speaking of birth, it would be awesome if people started producing giant skittles instead of babies in result to unsafe sex no? I think so toooooo.. OMG you've got a purple skittle!
ANYWAY!

Happy Birthday!!!!

xoxoxoxox
Love always,
C.G

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

He's Back!!

WOOT WOOT!

Hello people!! Oh my god! I think it's been forever since i last posted something. a month ago in exact. hahahahaa. haih. OKAY! news news news. did you know the word news came from new shit? get it?

news = new shit

Anyways we'll go according to the cronology okay?

1) Okay. i've been travelling up and down and down and up between courthouses and stuff and YESH!! Sperm Boy is officially back. F*** you Gamete boy!! so Sperm Boy is back and all you emo freaks that were all sad and shit can get over it and get a life. nyahahahahaha.....

2) i attended the the Penang Bridge International Marathon. whoa.... half marathon is NOT easy. that's gonna be up in the new blog. wee. :D

3) And oh my last job as a telemarketer was kinda sad. because i worked my ass off, got the highest commission in the whole company, and the company decided to hold back my money because i had to resign to start form 6. sigh. that was in April/May. last week, they called me and said they just banked in the money after mucho consideration. FINALLY!!!! *deep breaths*

4) I was appointed as the person in charge for Red Flag White Flag Battlefield Game! hahhaha. it was uber fun on 5th of december. those of you that were there would have loved it. =] everything was perfect on that day except the participants. dumbest bunch of crinkly nutcracks. food was awesome. thank you vill, tara, sue, daniel, debbie, amber, jinn, sylvia and all you other freaks that helped out. =]

5) I went for the Fame up audition. funny shit. Forced to dance. haih. my partner was so so shy... pity her. Thqanks daniel for supporting me. =] and you'll get a role too la. Diamond's are a girl's best friend. i'm surprised that it doesn't apply to all girls. Vladislav, i shall conquer you!!! i hope. Awesome job, Scott.

6) Starwalk was nice. =] hehehe the lucky draw was depressing. knowing that your number is two to three digits away from winning something awesome. haih. wasn't tired at all surprisingly. wee....

7) December 16th marks 2 months since the two writers have hooked up. fulamak.... bet she enjoyed cambodia. no, cambodia is not some dirty talk, it's a place she visited. oh my god that sounds wrong too. hahahahha and it's also Jane austen's birthday. writer of pride and prejudice and many more books which dhiv adores. Sperm Boy adores C.G. hahahahaa

8) ah... Happy birthday Sonia Symone, John Abraham, Milla Jovovich and Jaimee Foxworth!!!! December 17th is an awesome day you know? Simpsons Debut it's first episode on this day. hahaha


I love you.

KuchiBaba.

Booyashaka.

Forkadoodle.

Die Gamete boy die.

I miss you aqie... we need to change the song. hahaha

Razz a.k.a. Sperm Boy

Sunday, November 15, 2009

31 Days =]

Woot Woot!

Hello, Cock-o-bots and Vagina-trons. Hahhahahaha. haih. okay todays special. 31 days. what izzit you wonder? he. well the writers of this blog, me and someone else, having been getting down and dirty. HAHAHAHAH okay i did not mean that a bit at all, Keshav. seriously. Anyway, today's blog is dedicated to her, so if you don't like it, f*** you. oh shit wait no not to the other writer but to the OTHER freaks reading this. hehehe.

Firstly, i think it's been an awesome 31 days. =] Here's 31 reasons. She :-
1. is sweet
2. is funny
3. is awesome
4. is freaky
5. is loving
6. is always there
7. has neon nails
8. is very in love with lemon(the flying spider)
9. has great lips... Miao
10. calls me S.W.
11. thinks that sticking to my true self(name) is the best
12. supports me for whatever decisions i take up
13. is crazy
14. did not drink Milo on the day to meet me, to avoid poisoning me
15. dreams of having her own radio station(Goo.fm)
16. has great taste in music
17. has little little crinkles on her nose when she smiles =]
18. is so nice to cuddle with
19. listens to my problems at times
20. is a great person to get advice from
21. is immune to the smell of nail polish(how awesome is that??)
22. looks really really beautiful without make up. no joke
23. is imperfectly perfect
24. makes me wonder if I really deserve someone as perfect as her
25. makes me grin like mad EVERYTIME I see her name appear on the phone
26. can make feel very very very guilty for my mistakes against her
27. idolizes Audrey Hepburn
28. is nuts over Pride and Prejudice
29. likes hot guys but apparently i'm not. eh hem
30. is the one i'm gonna love for a long period of time. very long i say
31. is my girl. =]

All I wanna say now is happy One Month Anniversary. oh yea and so far, only two of you figured out the name. so please keep the name guessing coming. =]

I love you

KuchiBaba

sorry to the readers who expected something else

hahahaahahahahaa

Razz a.k.a. Gamete Boy

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Intro

Helllllllooooooooooooo...

Its your trusted C.G here..
I felt like the lack of updated here is kinda sad..
I mean there are actually a few of you sad people who come here everyday thinking Gamete Boy might update... Which he obviously does only ones in a blue moon..

So, being the kind soul that I obviously am, I decided to add a bit of my amazing moolah here..
ANYWAY...!
Welcome earthlings..

So I think you should no a bit more about me..
Firstly..
Gamete Boy and I don't have one of those sickening cliche stories where the first time our eyes met we knew we were meant to fight crime together shit..

We talked.. We found out that we had a common motive..
For world domination.. I was the brains and he was the bronze (ummm well you get the picture)
Its fuzzy because it happened so fast..!
Like Voooossssshhhhhhhhh.
We need a theme song..

We're open for suggestions..

Oh oh.... Sorry.. C.G tends to be a scatter brain..

Second, the name was given by force..
Actually it was from three choices and it sounded the most sassy..
I realize that just from an initial like C and G you people could probably come up with a lot of crap.. I know I can... So please think wisely.. I mean, its me we're talking about..


Third.. I can't remember.
!@#$


Oh Well..

Tune in next me..

xoxoxoxox

C.G

Saturday, November 7, 2009

C. G. Who??

Woot Woot!

What the heck is on the up side people!!!! oh yeah, that's actually the longer form of what's up. amazing right? oh. no? oh. okay. how..... unexpected. sigh. so sad.

Anyway, before i delve into the adventures of Gamete Boy. Yes, to the new folks who just realized that it's not Sperm Boy but Gamete Boy, the name of our beloved hero HAS been changed but do not worry. for the sake of our fans(i doubt there's any), we have a new addition. and since Lady Ova has left us in the cold, dark and horny world of crime f****ing, Gamete Boy and I have decided that living alone in this unruly world is very very sad. very sad. trust me. it's sad. like really sad. oh my god this blog is slowly seeping into sadness. boo-hoo. so sad.

SOO!!!! Here's a sneak peek into who's my partner in crime f****ing. =]

Instead of just telling who it is. I wanna play around with you freaks first. Since Gamete Boy is such a horny freak, his partner is a girl. hee. And her superhero name has the initials.................

C. G.

Hahahahah!!! Go figure it out yourself and whoever that guesses it right will win a small token of appreciation. I don't know what is it but well, something la. oh yea, Aqilah aka AqieAmazing and Dhivia aka Dhvia are NOT allowed to take part in this little contest. so tell me freaks, what is my superhero partner's name? not her real name i repeat. her superhero name. good luck with that. weeeee.....

Oh yes, i forgot. as of next week, Gamete Boy officially open up a new blog. WOO-HOO!!!! That's right. to accommodate freaks fans who want to know more about Gamete Boy's crime f****ing activities, the new blog will be more of a second to second drama, thriller, action packed account of Gamete Boy. those who DO approve this idea please say so in the cbox. --->

Okay, some of you are wondering what happened after last weeks' episode of Gamete Boy #3 - kemkokurikulum. well i think i won't say anything today but i promise promise promise i'll put it up asap. not put it into smokes, but as soon as possible for all the freaks who do not seem to understand acronyms. izzit acronyms ah? don't know la.

So for now, i shall fade into the dark night and swerve my through the thick and thin of the horny jungle that binds us to our daily shit lives. =]

I Love you and Luv you all.

KuchiBaba!

err.

I love flowers?

Razz =]